September

It's almost the end of September. I feel like we just moved (which happened in December) I'm still missing a few wonderful people from the old area but am loving this change that was forced upon us. We are surrounded by very caring, sweet and (I have to add) talented people. I have found myself reminiscing a little lately.

Missing the home that we worked so hard on. Missing my trees that my grandchildren were going to climb on and have picnics under. Missing the playhouse that we put so many hours into and the kids helped paint with their hand prints even after they were told not to. Missing my huge back porch.

But I need to stop looking back and look at the present...

We live in a fabulous neighborhood with actual roads so my car stays clean. With lots of kids so my kids are entertained and not getting sick of the constant noise of each other. With 2 fabulous parks containing volleyball courts, basketball courts, a jungle gym and a huge field for the kids to play football (sometimes tackle!),soccer or any other thing their hearts desire. A feeling of safety so I can go running in the evening by myself for a moment of peace. A MIL who lives with us and helps to cook,clean,shop,run kids and be an extra shoulder to cry on when mom and dad are doing "everything else" My parents (though they drive me crazy sometimes) are still alive to talk to when I want to. I have some amazing friends to keep me sain and have GNO's or couple date nights. I have a truly awesome husband who makes me feel like I'm the most important being on the planet at any given moment.I have 7 kids who love me, respect me and entertain me!

And to look at the future...

There will come a day when we can actually pay the bills without stressing, get the kids what they need and then what they want. There will be a regular income to depend on so we can take a vacation with lots of laughing, good food and pictures. We will go back to having weekly date nights if for no other reason than to get out from in front of the TV and stare at each other enjoying the quiet.

It's almost the end of September. Getting very close to the holidays. I love this time of year because of the weather, the smells, people going out of their way to serve others. I also dread it because my kids love Halloween and I can never think of costumes. Thanksgiving is hard because we have to decide..his side,my side or stay home and somebody always feels unloved because of the choice made. And Christmas...will we have $$ for presents this year? Will the kids understand if we don't? Can I be creative enough to make the $ stretch? Can I help my kids remember that it's not all about presents and it's OK if there aren't any?

So,we just keep living. Doing what's right and having faith that because we are, everything will work out fine.We don't need a job and money to be happy. We just need to help each other get through it with as much laughing as possible.

I really should be putting this in my journal. But right now I think it's important for others to see..you aren't alone in this. Alot of people are suffering and understand and it's OK to say it out loud! I love you.

The end.